McDonald’s Using Genetically Modified Beef In Its Burgers
<National Report>At a time when many consumers are expressing concern over the use of genetic engineering on human food sources, McDonald’s has been found to be using beef from cows that have...
View ArticleCoors Light Brazenly Advertises Melting of Polar Icecaps
<National Report>Coors Light, considered by many the “best cheap beer,” available, is doing more than help poor and often underage men get drunk. In a string of videos released over the course of...
View ArticleSarah Palin Avoids Alaskan Fracking Debate
WASILLA, Alaska – During her tenure as Alaska’s Governor, Sarah Palin increased the tax that oil companies pay to extract oil from land owned by the state. That issue is now up for debate. She also...
View ArticlePaper Please: Plastic Completely Outlawed in CA
<National Report>The new California motto: “Save Plastic, Kill Trees” In a move to save more plastic, California Governor Jerry Brown announced yesterday that starting in 2015, single use plastic...
View ArticleWhite House To Be Painted Green For “Earth Month” In 2015
The White House will be getting a major facelift in April of 2015. On Monday, the Obama Administration officially announced that in honor of Earth Day, on April 22nd, America’s most famous home will be...
View ArticleExxon Temporarily Shuts Down Niagara Falls For Fracking Operation
<National Report>Niagara Falls, one of the seven natural wonders of the world, was temporarily shut down by energy giant Exxon Mobil during the final phase of a massive hydraulic fracturing...
View ArticleHoliday Health Update: Mistletoe Tied To Lice Outbreaks
<National Report>Before dangling the traditional twigs and berries over the heads of loved ones this holiday season, pay attention to this vital health warning about mistletoe, the favorite...
View ArticleTed Cruz Suggests Building “Giant Fridge” to Solve Global Warming
Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), who on Monday was tapped to chair a subcommittee on space and science, believes he may have come up with the solution for global warming, otherwise known as climate change:...
View ArticleThe Vatican to Receive “Green” Makeover
<National Report>Multiple news outlets are reporting today that Pope Francis has announced his plans for Vatican City to “go green”. Catholics and non-Catholics worldwide were once again...
View ArticleMcDonald’s Rolls Out McSushi Menu In US
<National Report>There’s something fishy going on at McDonald’s, according to several excited food bloggers, and it’s all good news for US patrons of the nation’s #1 restaurant chain! McDonald’s...
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Climate Change Advocates Claim Punxsutawney Phil Imposter Made 2015 Declaration
(AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar) <National Report>Controversy allegedly surrounds the annual “Groundhog Day” ceremony in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania after several climate change advocates have spoken out...
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“Only A Few Months Left” Says White House Physician, As Rescue Efforts Fail
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci) THE WHITE HOUSE – A somber announcement was issued from the Rose Garden on Tuesday, where emergency efforts were undertaken to save the life of a beloved member of the White House...
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Site of Historic Woodstock Concert Finally Cleared of all Debris
(AP Photo/Gero Breloer) BETHEL, NY – A decades-long clean-up operation at Yasgur’s Farm, site of the 1969 Woodstock music festival which defiled a generation, came to an end this fall, erasing a nearly...
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California To Publicly Shame Water Wasters On Highway Message Boards
(AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli) As the state of California continues to suffer through one of the worst droughts in recorded history, state officials are still unhappy with the levels of conservation being...
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Wrigley Field Restrooms Declared Disaster Area
Disaster Declaration Issued to Begin Superfund Cleanup of Trough Area Wrigley Field, Site of the Governor’s Disaster Declaration SPRINGFIELD – Governor Bruce Rauner today declared portions of Cook...
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Joe Biden in Ohio: ‘It’s A Regular Cleveland Steamer Out Here’
(AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta) OHIO – During a fundraising event on behalf of Congressman Tim Ryan, (D-OH 13th District) Vice President Joe Biden couldn’t help but comment on the unseasonably warm...
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Greenpeace and PornHub Set to Combine Recruiting Efforts
(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes) DUKE UNIVERSITY – After comparing lone-star tattoos at a lacrosse game, Ana Toni, Chairman of Greenpeace, and Katie Kenzi, Community Coordinator for the website PornHub,...
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Secret Service Destroys Area Of Everglades Ahead Of Obama’s Earth Day Visit
(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky) The United States Secret Service destroyed several cumulative square miles of the Florida Everglades this weekend, in preparation of President Obama’s visit to the area on Earth...
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‘Silver Lining’ In Clouds Actually Predicts Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Say...
(AP Photo/Walker Ashley) Look for the silver lining Whene’er a cloud appears in the blue. Remember somewhere the sun is shining And so the right thing to do is make it shine for you. Legendary musical...
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Governor Brown: “I Won’t Shower To Prove How Serious This Drought Is”
.(AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli) California continues to suffer through the worst drought on record for the state. Even after California Governor Jerry Brown has come out with new state restrictions, the...
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